Being a teenager, sucked hard! Posted by gingersoaplovin , Jun 18, 2011 at 6:36 AM, in Labels: 30 Day Challenges

"They're gonna clean up your looks
With all the lies in the books
To make a citizen out of you
Because they sleep with a gun
And keep an eye on you, son
So they can watch all the things you do

Because the drugs never work
They're gonna give you a smirk
'Cause they got methods of keeping you clean
They're gonna rip up your heads,
Your aspirations to shreds
Another cog in the murder machine

They said all teenagers scare the living shit out of me
They could care less as long as someone'll bleed
So darken your clothes or strike a violent pose
Maybe they'll leave you alone, but not me"

As a teenager, I learned that you don't need any 

one specific person to keep on keepin' on.  (:  I mean, that is the most important thing I learned as an adolescent, I think.  How many teenagers are able to understand that usually, that teenage love of theirs, is not going to last to ten years from now?  I mean, on occasion it can, but, it usually won't.  Kids these days have got to stop with all of that crap about not being able to live with out each other, and having found real love at 12 years old.  I guarantee you haven't found it, real love.  (:   Real love isn't something you can find by simply meeting a person and not only thinking their attractive, and liking things about them; but it develops over time, through trial and error and many ordeals--you will find love one day.  But for now, my little scenie weenies, ENJOY BEING A TEENAGER.  (:

My advice for teenagers?  Don't rebel, just because it is cool.  Rebel because you honestly don't agree with something, or some one, and you truly think it is wrong.  Don't try to fall in love quick, that is not only the road to heart break, but a low self esteem; or you could very well break someone's heart.  Be a teenager, not an adult.  Don't have sex and fool around because you 'love' the person.  You'll find later, you WILL regret it.  Just a reminder, teens, I'm not old.  I'm not a parent.  I'm not a grown up either.  I'm a teenager, too.  I was just forced to grow up a little bit faster than most due to the graphic nature of my past and the ordeals I went through as a small child.  I'm only eighteen, but I've come to realize these things.  So if you won't take it from your parents, take it from me:  You'll usually find that they're right.  Depending on what kind of parents you have, anyway..

As a teenager, I thought I had found love many times, only to lead to heart break.  I was involved in drinking and drugs beyond the point of comprehension, and was exposed to things that even now days, most teenagers are not usually exposed to.  I dropped out of high school, I partied all the time, I got to the point where I felt like I'd hit rock bottom some times--but then later felt my life and love were the greatest thing to ever be known in existence.

But an important part of being a teenager is growing up.  I'm not saying don't live your life, don't make your own mistakes--but I am saying, if you can save yourself some of the heart break, why not?  If you can save yourself some of the misery, why not?  Because even though I've grown up and I'm definitely happy with where my life is right now:  I still hold scars, emotionally, and some times it hits me at random times and I feel like crying.  I'm not saying don't try to love; love with all of your heart, actually, but don't make it the universe; the be all and end all.  Don't put one person at the center of your universe, and build your world around them.  Just let yourself have a simple, pure love that is not tainted by pressures of sex or drugs.  (:

As an adolescent, a big goal for me was having good grades despite my reputations as a stoner and bad kid.  Why?  I wanted to prove to the world that just because I smoked weed, didn't mean I was a stupid lazy bum.  In high school and middle school both, I had straight A's.  I only actually dropped out because I also had a job, and my Mother wanted me to keep the job so she pulled me out to home school me--which just never happened.  I ended up getting my GED, and that was actually something I was proud of.  I graduated at 16.

I remember the day I graduated, actually.  I was in rehab for the third time, and I was sitting in the school room with some of the other residents.  We were joking and talking, helping each other study and do work, and the head teacher came in and said, "Ginger, I'm glad to announce you have obtained your GED." And I was oh-so happy, because it was the only thing that kept me from graduating rehab, as well.  I remember the feeling like this anchor had been cut lose from my load.  I was so relieved, grateful to the Lord, and happy beyond my wildest imagination.