Since it is midnight where I am, I figured I could go ahead and do this post.
My mom and I had a very difficult time ever connecting well when I was growing up. Partly, it may have been because we had so many of the same ideas, but handled our reactions to our emotions so differently. I was a more calm, collected teenager--whereas she was very high strung and emotional. I think she desired to be needed constantly, like my brother needed her a lot when he was growing up and didn't gain his independence until after he went to college. I, however, became independent at a rather abnormal age. I started cooking for myself when I was four years old and that in itself shocked her. Basically, she wanted to raise her child; but I didn't need to be raised. I taught myself. After rehab, my therapist was able to connect us on the same level an adult child would connect with her parent, as opposed to having the dynamic of me being an adult child and her wanting to treat me like her baby all the time. We have grown very close in about the passed year.
My dad, however, I have never been close with. He put me through some pretty awful things growing up, and while I try my best every day to forgive him in my heart-- I simply choose not to have that unhealthy of a relationship in my life at all. I try to forgive him in my heart, but I don't think I will ever feel safe or comfortable around him ever again.
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